Lessons of the Week: Week 2
Identifying your core values is such a beautiful thing. We did an exercise during one of our staff improvement days, and I felt IMPROVED. A speaker from Elena Aguilar's company visited to discuss the importance of resilience in healing professions. It is even more crucial to cultivate resilience because of the high demands from large caseloads, paperwork, lesson planning, meetings, and all that entails being a speech pathologist. We were instructed to identify our core values. This initially started from a list of 230 words (here is a link to one by Brene Brown), and then you select 10. Out of that 10, you select 5, and out of that 5, you choose 3. It warmed my heart to see these words on paper!
Not only is recognizing your core values empowering, but it also shines a light that everyone considers values at a different altitude. What matters to you may not matter to someone else, and vice versa. And that is OKAY. This is where we need to see the beauty in disagreements. It helps us understand where people are coming from. We are all shaped by what was modeled, as well as what we experienced throughout our lives- all the challenges and hardships.
If you live for the desire of recognition, you will be living a life owned by someone else. I have been reading the “Courage to be Disliked,” and the authors highlighted this point when discussing the separation of tasks. It is not your problem to make sure someone likes you. This notion indicates you are “a slave to one’s desire and impulses.” To be free, you have to be okay with people not liking you (hence the title of the book). You may never be recognized for what you do, but you should be content if it came from the right place of your heart and your identity.
I also appreciated how the authors painted another scenario of interpersonal problems and implied a task on someone causing conflict. The child has homework, and the parent takes on the task of making the child do the homework and get that A. The child should work on cultivating that intrinsic motivation to get that A+, but instead, the parent takes on that task to make sure the child gets the A. This is where conflict arises because the parent picks up negative emotions from personally taking on the task as it may affect the family’s identity. Again, this is one example; there are plenty more where that came from!
I am in my business mode. I came across this entrepreneurial podcast (Momentum by Alex Charaf), and he said one thing that helped him was to lean into discomfort. Now, I am someone who loves growth. I am a self-help junkie. I also have the potential to be a blind optimist. Something that Alex highlighted was to document where you were uncomfortable throughout the day. What made you uneasy? Did you feel tired or worn out? Did you feel unorganized? (Yes, I am naming things that are on my list). Once you’ve identified them, this helps you see what you need to take out to improve your life. Writing them down on paper or typing them up requires you to “make the issues real” and think logically regarding them. For example, you can adapt a new way of using a list that better fits your style.
Think of the person who always has a plan but hasn't taken the action to do it. Something that I realized I have been unintentionally doing is saying, “I plan on posting this,” or “I plan on doing that.” I do this, especially when filming vlogs. Wise words once said do not tell anyone anything until you do it. Telling others your goals before you complete them hinders your success as it gives you a premature sense of achievement (Gollwinger, 2009). It releases dopamine (the pleasure neurotransmitter), making you happy with telling others but not doing it. Aside from this, I find myself saying things I want to do but allowing more energy to go towards the thought rather than the actual action. It is your inner dialogue that keeps talking and taking you away from initiating the steps to take. When I see myself falling into this trap, I take smaller steps towards the action (e.g., write a piece of a blog post rather than the whole thing) to not feel overwhelmed and not be daunted or overwhelmed by the thought of the idea. This helps keep me accountable and reach my goals.
I experienced relaxation that I had not been greeted by in so long. We did my spinal adjustment and stretches. I got up from the adjustment table and felt peace and quiet transpire through my body. It was amazing. The central nervous system is heavily implicated in spinal health. I have some subluxations (my neck is literally curved in the wrong direction). It is week 1, and I see on my Oura watch that my sleep has been deeper when I get adjustments. This is because my autonomic nervous system can finally communicate with the rest of my body. It does not stay like this forever (especially not when I am typing away on a computer), but over time, I should see more benefits from physical therapy and adjustments. I highly recommend going to get checked out if you have any concerns!
