27 THINGS I LEARNED IN 27 YEARS
I am celebrating my 27th birthday this week. Here are a few things I have learned during my time on this earth.
Okay, weird phrasing. Here are 27 things I learned in my life.
1. We are supposed to change
There is no point in trying to suppress the inevitable; it is human nature. You are not supposed to stay the same person you were when you were 17. Values change. Situations change. It is a blessing to have the ability to change.
2. It is okay to outgrow people and situations
I am piggybacking after my last statement. Values change. Your circumstances change. Sometimes, people go on different trajectories than you do. And, that is okay. The people who accept you for who you are will stay. It will be scary but you will find your tribe.
3. Your most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
I have spent more than half my life looking for love outside of myself. Looking for love from others. Looking for affirmation of what I am doing. It is so important to be content with yourself.
4. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT.
If you don’t learn to stop, your body will stop it for you. A big theme for me was recovering from my autoimmune disorder. I am still dealing with daily pain, but I am learning to recognize when it is my body telling me that I pushed myself too hard or if something else is triggering this. I truly believe that my autoimmune disease developed because of how much I was pushing myself through the pain.
5. You don't have to have the same interests as your friends.
I tried so hard to be interested in the same thing and repress my desire to talk more about other topics. Openly expressing myself has brought me close to people who understand me. I think expressing myself more has also had more of my friends understand me differently, and this lets me maintain more rich connections with them.
6. Call your parents and grandparents.
You never know how long they’ll be around. I know situations may vary, and I am very blessed to have loving parents and family. They easily improve my day and I find them to be great support systems.
7. Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world.
This does not have to be as spiritual as it seems. For example, think of how when you’re stressed out. Your room may be more cluttered than it would have been otherwise. Maybe you do not take care of your appearance as you would otherwise. Be mindful of your inner world.
8. Meditation is healing.
I remember learning about how millionaires value meditating. I thought, if I want to make money, I have to do this. Meditation allows me to reflect on my reality. It allows me to quiet my mind to see the deep down thoughts come up. As I heal, I also have felt so many other ideas
9. Do not speak to be understood, seek to understand
I am a talker, but there is so much beauty in taking a step back and allowing other people to say their side. There is so much power in approaching situations with curiosity. I believe this is a rare trait, but once you build it, you see things less personally. You learn to be less defensive. You learn that answers come out without you having to ask for them. It is touching to give space for someone else to feed understood.
10. Not everyone will support you
I have seen friends stop liking my things or sharing my content. I have seen people open my content without reacting. There is much power in being confident in the things you put out to the world and trusting that it is going to take you to the next level. It really is not easy speaking on certain topics on a platform, knowing that people may look negatively towards it. This is the risk you are taking to do something different. Their thoughts say more about them than you.
11. Your ego is "protecting" you
Whenever I get defensive, I ask “What am I protecting?” We take things so personally at times when it does not have to be that way. We think that things are a jab at us when they are neutral facts or situations. Following the trends when you get defensive or tense will help you see any insecurities or doubts you have about yourself.
12. Humans are natural creators
Sadly, so many of us overlook this trait. We can create in many different ways, like writing, painting, talking, playing sports, singing. Creating helps heal us. We can bring a positive outlook to create so much beauty in our lives.
13. Trust your intuition
I spent YEARS second-guessing myself. YEARS refusing to listen to my gut. YEARS of relying on the perspectives of others to make everyday decisions for me. Learning to trust my intuition has taken my life to new levels. I truly feel more in touch with where I’m meant to be in the world and how I can help others. By meditating and learning to listen to your voice, you can build on this skill. And if you want to get very spiritual, you can ask yourself questions and get answers. Trust that you already know what is best for you. It’s already inside of you.
14. Trauma is stored in the body
I’ve been assaulted. I’ve had a mild traumatic brain injury. I’ve lived through many stages of anxiety and depression. I can feel the stored energy in my neck and shoulders. This is where I feel the most pain. Trauma and repeated stressors wreak havoc on our systems. This can cause dysfunction of the gastrointestinal system. This can cause numbness and tingling in the fingers. This can cause sensitivities to cold. Tap into your body and see what is happening. Learn to let it out.
15. Subconscious thought patterns are stronger than you think
Your subconscious thought patterns subtly control your everyday decision-making. You are shaped by things you were told and what was modeled to you in your early childhood. Patterns can involve how you interact in relationships, how you view money, how you take care of yourself, and many others. Once you take note of the patterns, you could better start putting together the pieces of the puzzle.
16. Therapy
Following the previous point, therapy is an extremely beneficial tool to examine where the trauma is stored and subconscious thought patterns. It is something that I have gone to for quite some time now and have seen great benefits. I would not be here today if it was not for therapy.
17. What's meant for you, should not feel hard
There was a quote by Abraham/Esther Hicks on how we often choose to take a path someone has already done. We swim upstream, but that makes it harder for us to swim. When we choose to swim downstream, still working hard but allowing ideas and opportunities to come to us, things become much easier. This leads us to an even greater outcome with more ease. When we learn to let go, we find that the things meant for us make their way. What’s meant for you should not feel hard.
18. Do not resist life
This is something that I have been trying to grasp, especially dealing with health concerns and pain. Pain is a part of life. Resisting it and trying to push against it will only make things more difficult.
19. The only rules that exist are the ones we create for ourselves
How did you view society growing up? Did you conform to each and every thing you were told? Think about the rules we were brought up by. Some rules don’t apply, like the law obviously, but what about the rules we gave ourselves about what we should and shouldn’t be like? These create such limitations in our lives. The hide our authentic selves, which, in turn, impacts every area of our lives. The second we choose to be our authentic selves, we see things come our way. We see more opportunities, more people, more fulfillment around us.
20. Seek to feel fulfilled instead of happy
“Negative” emotions help us live. It tells us when we have threats. Stressors can be positive and help us advance in our careers. We should not seek to always be “happy” and only experience “positive” emotions since that is not attainable. Seek to feel fulfilled. Ignore mundane pleasures that don’t serve you and focus on your values and how you could build a life of purpose.
21. Everything is neutral until you put meaning to it
When you learn that you dictate how you view situations, you can let things go easily. Things do not have to stay with you longer than they should. You can see the world as neutral. You can seek it more with curiosity rather than GOOD or BAD. The world is not black and white.
22. See hardships as lessons
I believe everything happens for a reason. My greatest life lessons happened to be some of the darkest periods I have experienced. If I did not have those, I would not be the person I am today.
23. The greatest power is to choose kindness
You never know what someone is going through. It is a superpower to endure so much pain and still choose kindness. The world can be so cold, that smiling at someone can leave such an impact. Asking someone how their day is can touch them more than you realize. You never know what someone is going through.
24. Comparison is the death of authenticity
The more you compare, the more you conform, and the less you are your authentic self. Social media can be empowering, but it can also be detrimental. Focusing on what you DO have and
25. Be mindful of the words you tell yourself
Your brain picks up on words you tell yourself most frequently. If you are more positive in the way you talk about yourself and your situation, you will view it more positively and with more optimism. If you talk negatively about yourself, even joking, your mind will start to take note of that. This can lead to lower self-esteem and pessimism. It is an easy hole to dig yourself into.
26. It's not about having what you want, it's about wanting what you have.
Being able to focus on my passions has helped me align my values. It honed in on what’s important to me, such as my purpose, the people in my life, my health, and more. I have felt so blessed for the advances I’ve made mentally, physically, and emotionally. I can see just how much beauty I have in my life and focus on watering those seeds while they continue to grow and flourish.
27. Nothing is impossible or too "unrealistic"
We are living in such an awesome time! Technology and research are advancing. It is a wonderful time to try and find our footing while so much is changing. Nothing is too unrealistic. I live by the idea that there are so many opportunities out there that we do not even know exist. This may be the “glass-half-full” mindset, but I wake up every day feeling excited to see what I may find, learn, or create. I am open to opportunities that may come as things are booming more than we could have imagined. I hope you learn to pick up this mindset and reach for the stars just like they told us when we were younger!
